OWNing My Power

I was recently honored to spend the afternoon at the Oprah Winfrey Network. Even though I just wrote that last sentence, I keep rereading it because on some level it feels like a dream.  Like millions of other people, I watched The Oprah Winfrey Show every day religiously for many years. The show and its host gave me a daily dose of laughter, tears and most importantly, insight. So as you can imagine, I was delighted to be invited to the OWN network as a guest speaker. The company occasionally arranges inspirational talks for their team; some of those speakers have included Brene Brown, Iyanla Vanzant, fitness expert Tracy Anderson, and me. Gulp.

Some of the OWN staff had recently seen me at a live event, talking about how I use color for an energy boost. They thought that it would be interesting for me to present something about this topic, so I had prepared to talk about some of the colors that I like to use. I knew that I would be feeling nervous, so I specifically wore a black sweater, which helps to ground anxious energy (this, in my opinion, is also why so many people in big cities like to wear black). As we approached the beautiful building, I did my best to maintain my center. We climbed the steps to the entrance, opened the door and walked in. Suddenly David was laughing excitedly.

“Oh my gosh, how fun!”
“What?”

On the far wall of the OWN lobby was a giant screen showing my picture and the message, “The OWN Network Welcomes Dougall Fraser!”

own2Truth be told, when I am going to a meeting or an event in Los Angeles, I try to play it cool. I’ve been in many waiting rooms and seen celebrities walk by. After living here for 8 years, it is a fairly common occurrence to see a famous person at a local restaurant or supermarket. Although this may sound strange, it is part of living in a city whose main industry is entertainment. But in this moment, in the OWN lobby, I couldn’t play it cool. I was delighted and overwhelmed all at once.  My loving husband grabbed his phone and immediately wanted to take photos, which was a complete blur in my mind. We checked in with the front desk, and then sat on a sofa waiting where I stared at…my giant image staring back at me. My heart was racing.

Members of the OWN staff came down to greet us, and I expressed gratitude for our welcome. We were then lead upstairs to record a few videos for Oprah.com about how I use color in meditation and in my life. Luckily this comes fairly naturally to me. I love the opportunity to express my views on spirituality, and I felt fully connected to my voice.

My talk for OWN U was scheduled to be at 5:00pm to an audience of about 60 people. I had some extra time before the talk, so we went to the cafe to get a snack and some refreshments. The cafe is designed to look like a lovely lounge, with beautifully upholstered furniture on one end, and a gorgeous kitchen filled with goodies and at the other end. I helped myself to a coffee and a snack, then sat down quietly. Almost immediately, my mind filled with chatter:
This coffee is delicious, and so is this gluten free cookie. Wait a minute, are these some of Oprah’s favorite things? Ohmigod, was this chair picked out by Nate Berkus? I mean, this is her office, so there’s a good chance that those are Julia Roberts’ favorite muffins over there.

The talk began, and I felt like my body had been plugged into an electric socket. A combination of energy, excitement and nerves was coursing through me. As I was talking, I could feel my breath getting ahead of me. It was like cosmic caffeine multiplied by 100. In that moment I started to judge myself. Critical thoughts circled through my mind.

A spiritual teacher would be calm. A REAL teacher would speak slowly. What kind of spiritual teacher starts to sweat during their presentation?

In that moment, while talking I decided that I needed a little break. I would walk the walk and do a brief, conscious meditation. A voice in my head said, Just breathe. You are allowed to pause and regroup. So without a thought I told the group that I needed a moment to stop and breathe. I took a sip of water, closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.

I turned to the side.  Some of the OWN staff sweetly applauded and cheered for a moment. I took a deep breath and I went back to owning my power (get it, OWNing? Sorry, couldn’t help it).

I am telling you this because I want to be honest with you about my process. We all experience self-doubt at some point in our lives. It retrospect, it’s funny to me that I struggled with giving myself permission to reconnect. Rather than pretending that this day wasn’t a big deal, or that I wasn’t excited, I wanted to experience this moment as fully as possible. Part of my consciousness was focused on my inner child, that overweight gay kid that used to watch the Oprah show every day looking for inspiration. Let me tell you, he was jumping for joy that day, and I made sure to honor him by acknowledging the excitement. But another part of my consciousness was the teacher who has been doing spiritual work for over 18 years, fully intending to teach and uplift this group of people. It makes perfect sense to me that I would need a moment to regroup and breath. By grounding myself, I made sure that I was as present in that moment as I could be. The rest of the talk went quite well, and I am proud of myself for being both human and the teacher in the same breath.

How often in your life do you feel like your energy gets ahead of you? Maybe you are at a party and your shyness get in the way of your connecting with others? Perhaps your tasks at work begin to pile so high that you start to feel hopeless and disconnected from yourself.  Even joyful moments like the one that I had at OWN can be so overwhelming that our energy starts to get ahead of us.

This is where a moment of conscious energy management is paramount. Take a moment to breathe and envision yourself surrounded in orange light, just like a Buddhist monk draped in an orange robe. In my approach, orange light is the color of balance and perception.
I’d love to know your experience with this, please comment below so that I can respond!

There are so many times in our lives where we can’t carve out 20 mins to meditate or clear our space. But the simple act of taking a beat to pause, breathe and reconnect can ground us so deeply that we fully embrace the energy of whatever room we are in.

47 replies
  1. Erin
    Erin says:

    Thank u! Will try orange; at first try I think that color makes me more hyper. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and overly excited; so I really loved this story. Love Oprah and totally cool you were there and that u “OWN”‘d it – not surprised, Dougall. Gonna try again w orange. 🙂

    Reply
    • Dougall
      Dougall says:

      Thanks so much for your kind words Erin! That’s interesting about orange making you feel a bit hyper. Since orange also increases perception, I am wondering if this is what you are experiencing as increased energy. For me, it feels very clarifying and balancing. I’d love for you to try a few more times in the next few days and let me know what you think!

      Reply
      • Gabriele
        Gabriele says:

        Hi Dougall, greetings from Germany. I am a brand-new fan of yours. Just finished listening you hosting the HayHouse radio. +…jotting down the emerald green basket ball in the center of the house; the goldboard, the fear journal + meditating with the color orange….which I absolutely love + often wear (guess I need to wear it then). I am thrilled for you now being the OWN network + look forward to watching + learn more of your amazing talents.

        Reply
  2. Baba
    Baba says:

    So so cool! I love it for you! I definitely need to try the orange. Funny because my mind keeps saying lavender. Maybe lavender first then the orange. Funny how you can ask and get a “prescription”. Love how you brought this back into my attention! Thanks because I need some grounding! 😉

    Reply
    • Dougall
      Dougall says:

      Hi Baba, thanks for the support! Lavender is a beautiful color to use in meditation. As part of the purple family, it is a great leadership color. But I agree, definitely listen to your inner guidance when choosing a color.

      Reply
  3. josie
    josie says:

    Thank you Dougall for sharing your experience…in effect, we ‘ordinary’ people can feel more comfortable with you, Dougall Fraser is ‘human’ after all, we have that tendency to look up to spiritual teachers;and sometimes this can cause a huge gap, which may not be ideal for a teacher-student interaction…So now, i feel I would want to make an appointment with you for a ‘reading’…from Josie

    Reply
  4. Donna Lynn
    Donna Lynn says:

    First of all, congrats! I’m glad that both sides of yourself can forward. What a gift to your past, present and future. Thanks for sharing.
    I love Orange. I painted the huge Rec room in our old house’s basement orange after we remodeled it. People laughed & said it looked like a pumpkin at first. Eventually they loved it. I miss that huge grounding dose of color. Now I have a Calvin Klein dress in the same color for when I give presentations.
    .

    Reply
  5. Peggy
    Peggy says:

    It’s an affirmation for me. I do this often. I use the spring green of nature here in NE Florida at Easter. It works beautifully for me. Keep it up. Everything we do in these times to shift our energy positively is fabulous and you are doing wonderful work.

    Reply
  6. Debbie
    Debbie says:

    WOW! Well done Dougall! What an exciting life event! You certainly made some wonderful memories. You’re excitement is palpable. I felt myself smile from your first sentence. Thank you for sharing this experience with us and for reminding me, once again, the wonders of Meditation to ground and reconnect. Blessings to you and yours. xo2

    Reply
  7. Linda
    Linda says:

    Dougall,
    Thank you for sharing…such a beautiful story. I felt all your energy throughout your story. Oh so helpful for me!
    With Love and Gratitude,
    Linda

    Reply
  8. Ellen
    Ellen says:

    I love the color orange. To me it has a calming effect, like everything is going to be alright. Thanks for sharing your story Dougall.

    Reply
  9. Payal
    Payal says:

    Hello! I truly appreciate this! I am giving a talk in a week and I am super nervous! I am going to try the orange light. Thank you for sharing the self doubt struggle bc it’s easy to think that no one else deals with it. Congrats to you on your own feat!

    Reply
    • cynthia
      cynthia says:

      I am so happy for your wonderful day and experience. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. If a person has an orange aura surrounding them–what does that mean? Does a person have a main aura or does it constantly change? I find this whole topic fascinating.

      Reply
      • Dougall
        Dougall says:

        Hi Cynthia, if I see Orange around someone it usually means that they are naturally intuitive and may even work in some kind of healing field (doctor, nurse, therapist, etc…). As for a main aura color, I find that we all come with a personality or core color. The Aura does change though depending on where we are in life.

        Reply
  10. Missy
    Missy says:

    Oh wow, Dougall… Oprah Winfrey Network!! Aaaaahhhhh!!! Thank you for teaching us about regrouping. I am a mum with 2 kids under 3 years old and your article is a good reminder to just breathe. Congratulations on owning your moment!! My mind and heart would be abuzz too❤ Black for grounding! Of course. 🙂

    Reply
  11. Jerre Learned
    Jerre Learned says:

    Hi Dougall!
    I am so happy for you and of course proud too!
    None of my ownership only that I was in a class with you in Seattle!
    Congrats on sharing your gifts and hard work! We all appreciate you!
    Do you have a new handout on colors? Blessings, Jerre Learned

    Reply
  12. Janis
    Janis says:

    First of all, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. I always get such a good feeling from you. I tried to surround myself with orange, but it kept mixing with gold. I don’t know what that means but I still felt calm and happy. I’ll keep trying. Congratulations on your “Ah ha moments” at OWN, don’t you just love those?
    Hope you have a wonderful day!

    Reply
  13. Pam Savory
    Pam Savory says:

    Oprah is the dream of everyone’s inner super star. Love it that you made yours come true! Congratulations! 😍 Browns, burnt orange and greens are my go to colors and I feel the most grounded and present.

    Reply
  14. Arnie
    Arnie says:

    Hi Dougall, I started my day today by witnessing and feeling the AWESOME power of intuitive orange when I noticed Orange Cab driving by early this morning!!! My intuitive senses are EXTREMELY HIGHTENED!!!

    Reply
  15. Catherine Reichert
    Catherine Reichert says:

    Thank You for the share. I admire you so much. It is very encouraging to know that when having a experience that may seem over whelming, we can take that time to center & ground ourselves. I seem to gravitate to deep blue or a pinkish purple when I’m in a group. On occasion black. I love hearing what you’re up to. Congrats!!I would feel very honored to be called to Oprah’s network. I love your energy!!!!

    Reply
    • Dougall
      Dougall says:

      Hi Catherine, thanks so much for your kind words! I love knowing that you gravitate towards color as well. We all have different colors that work best for us, depending on our disposition and the moment at hand.

      Reply
  16. lynn
    lynn says:

    Wow Douglas, the timing of this message is awesome, on the 15th I had an interview that was exactly what you experience, however I never caught up with my thoughts, I derailed so badly, (for the first time EVER in an interview) in front of a group of 5 professionals, that I knew there was no way I would be considered. I’m going to share the BEST advise to my daughter who will be doing interviews soon for a teaching job. SO THANK YOU for being you, for being so authentic!!! I have a joy in reading your messages, You sir are the Oprah Winfrey in my life! You are loved and lovely, please have David give you a long hug from Meeee!

    Reply
    • Dougall
      Dougall says:

      Lynn, thank you for your sweet message! I too have had moments where it has gotten too far ahead of me and I derailed. I totally understand. Luckily the Universe always gives us a chance to get back out there and try again. Sending you much love and light!

      Reply
      • lynn
        lynn says:

        BIGHUG DOUGALL! ! !
        I so appreciate you! ! !
        I’m wearing a new pair of sunglasses it’s so bright!
        Thanks again for your special energy!

        Reply
  17. Julia Paris
    Julia Paris says:

    Hi Dougall
    What a lovely feel good story. I think it is an awesome moment when one is recognized for your sharing what you do best, with others. Seeing your face on the screen and having your exciting moment of truth was precious and sacred. You have spent 18 years preparing for that moment. I am excited that David was there to capture these moments and share your joy with you. I love orange. I am drawn to earthly colours and feel happy and energized when I wear orange. I will tried the mindful moment with orange. I felt lighter and cheerful.

    Reply
  18. Sylvia Henderson
    Sylvia Henderson says:

    Hi Dougall, I just love this story. I love how you are always authentically Dougall Fraser 100% of the time. I love how Spirit has led and guided you every step of the wait to this moment of your life and beyond. I am certain that even more fantastic experience are yet to come. Love to You!

    Reply
  19. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    Dougall, what a beautiful read !
    I just love your honesty ,integrity and your spontaneity!
    I’ve always felt how fun it would be to interact in person with you!
    You rock! And I’m gonna use orange…fun fun fun
    I want to share what happened when I read the line, where you stated about being the fat gay kid…I spontaneously began to cry and started shaking vigorously..when it stopped …I took some deep breaths came back to center and continued reading.
    On a few other occasions during my lifetime this has happened and great healing had taken place.
    I hope this is the case for your sweet loving soul.
    May Divine Love Bless You Always

    Reply
    • Becky
      Becky says:

      Congratulations Dougall! I am happy for you and your wonderful opportunity to share with Oprah. I tried the orange but the outcome fun but not what I expected. I use to live in Denver and walked to the bus stop to catch my ride to work. Each day I passed a house full of Monks dress in bright orange garb. And when I closed my eyes and saw the orange, I recalled the monks-in-training (toddlers) racing down the sidewalk on their big wheels, their orange garb flying behind them! Not so calming, but lots of joy came home to me.
      Continued success and joy to you!
      Becky

      Reply
  20. Cathy
    Cathy says:

    Congratulations, Dougall. How deserving and memorable. You are a true and genuine person. I constantly resort to the sessions you provided on colours and find I incorporate their meaningful reflection in everything I do. I love black for grounding and orange for balance. You are a wonderful teacher.

    Reply
  21. Betsy
    Betsy says:

    Yay, Dougall, I loved every moment of reading your experience at the Oprah.network and OWN-ing your power! Reading this made me tear up. I can relate to everything you said. The way you express your authenticity is so refreshing to me and it’s one of the key things that drew me to you in the first place. You remind me that self-doubt creeps in for all of us doing something in a new arena for the first time. Huge congratulations on a momentous event! I am so happy for you and so enjoyed hearing the yummy details. Much love, Betsy

    Reply
  22. Diane
    Diane says:

    Congratulations Dougal and thank you for sharing. I felt the emotion in your words and have benefited from the experience Thank you.
    It’s strange how today, while reading your story, I am wearing orange. It’s a colour I don’t often wear. It does seem to empower me.
    Many thanks and love
    Diane

    Reply
  23. georgina sudron
    georgina sudron says:

    hi Dougall

    I quite like the orange colour i usually consider it lucky for me although i will try that excersise

    Reply
  24. Tanya
    Tanya says:

    Thanks for sharing your experience. How exciting! I appreciate how honest you always are. Love that you are so comfortable being yourself. Just found you on YouTube and am hooked 🙂 I have shared with my friends and family. Can’t wait to see and hear more of your talents! Xo

    Reply
  25. kitty
    kitty says:

    I saw your book a few weeks ago and did not know who you were so I just went past it. A few days ago, I was in the same bookstore and saw your book again and took it home. I’m so glad I did! I couldn’t put it down! I feel like I know you now. I love your use of color…beautiful colors have always been so important to me. One question, I noted that you now live in LA and since I live in LA too, do you do
    sessions in person or only over the phone? So glad you decided to be here to help spread joy!

    Reply

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