I recently watched an eye-opening video about the importance of boredom. The presenter, a Harvard professor, explained that in our modern world, we’re conditioned to do everything in our power to avoid the dreaded feeling of boredom.
As evidence, he showed video of people walking down a street, all staring at their phones instead of just being present in the world. He then explained that having moments of boredom not only helps build creativity, but it can even ward off symptoms of depression.
My mind immediately began flashing through all the times I spontaneously take my phone out to avoid being bored: standing in line at the grocery store, sitting in my car at a red light, and lounging on the couch while watching TV. I could only think of a handful of moments in my daily life when I wasn’t engaging with a screen.
Recently, I’ve noticed feeling a bit creatively muted. When I have a new idea, I’ll often see that some version of it already exists on social media. Suddenly the wind is taken out of my sails. My inner critic whispers: What could you possibly teach that someone hasn’t already done?
On top of that, I’ve been feeling a spike in empathy overload. I try to limit my news consumption, but on social media it’s far too easy for someone’s opinion (or a shared article) to sneak into my feed and hijack the quiet, reflective energy I want to cultivate.
The truth is, I’ve never been an all-or-nothing kind of person. I like being engaged in the world. I enjoy seeing updates from friends and the moments of connection that social media can bring.
But I had to get honest with myself. Human beings are not meant to know everything that’s going on in the world at all times. I was losing too much time and energy in these endless scrolls. And the common denominator was my phone.
It’s just too easy to reach for it whenever I want to distract myself from the present moment. As the video presenter put it, if we’re grabbing a device without consciously thinking about it, that may even be considered addiction.
So the next day, I asked David, our household tech wizard, to show me how to set time limits for certain apps. As an experiment I limited my social media consumption to 30 minutes per day, and my news intake to 15 minutes per day. That first morning, I felt like I had plenty of time to catch up on current events and even sneak in a little mindless scrolling.
But soon enough my phone gently reminded me: five minutes left. And just like that, time was up. Unexpectedly, I felt a wave of relief when my time was up. I was surprised that it didn’t feel restrictive, and actually felt more like freedom.
Another habit I looked at was taking my phone on our daily walk with Dylan, our dog. I always told myself it was practical. After all, I’m self-employed, and what if work came up? Plus, I liked tracking my steps. But the funny part is, we do the same walk every morning. I already know exactly how many steps it takes. So why did I need my phone to confirm it?
That morning, I decided to leave my phone at home. I trusted my body’s innate wisdom to know if I’d had enough movement. Without the device in my pocket, David and I talked more. Ideas and sparks of inspiration came to me. It felt good not to have that constant tether.
On Monday, out of habit, I slipped my phone in my pocket again. This time I decided to count how many times I had the urge to pull it out. During a 45 minute walk, I reached for it 12 times. Twelve!
That’s twelve missed opportunities, twelve times I could’ve felt connected to my higher self, twelve moments when my inner artist could have sparked a vision, twelve whispers from nature I didn’t hear, twelve chances for a moment of family time with David or Dylan. That’s a lot of avoidance packed into a short walk.
I’ve only been experimenting with these limits for a few days, but I’ve committed to trying it for a full month. I’m curious to see how my mood, creativity, and overall sense of well-being will shift.
Is there some habit in your life right now that feels like it’s doing you more harm than good? If so, take a moment to explore your relationship with it. Ask yourself how you might reset, re-boot, or shift your habits so that you can return to a greater sense of connection, balance, and harmony.
Much Love,
12 Responses
This is wonderful, Dougall. Thank you! I’ve been feeling the same and find that as I watch my morning Daily Tarot reading, enjoying a hot mug of coffee (instead of pouring it into a to-go mug to head to the place I don’t really want to go), I constantly pick up my phone. Two things happen: 1 – I miss most of the tarot message because I’m too distracted, and 2 – my coffee gets cold. And I really dislike tepid coffee LOL. I blame it on the multitasking that is required on a daily basis now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the power to say NO! Thank you for the reminder and for the challenge!
Thank you for the comment Alex, I totally understand!
The more phones have become normal in our daily living, the more I feel I miss out on the here and now of everyday too! I’m in my 50’s so remember a time without them. A time when, days seemed longer, I was was not distracted by a, headline, email or message. We actually spoke to our friends, now it’s a few messages a day, of non important stuff! More recently though, my children (although adults) will say, I told you that mum, yesterday! Mum are you listening.! I know I’m missing out on certain things because of my phone but like you, find I’m constantly reaching for it unnecessarily! Thank you for sharing! I love the idea of app limitations, I think we can all benefit from this!
Such a great point Julia, I think it’s more noticeable for those of us who remember life without our devices. It’s a great reminder to try and stay present as much as possible.💗
Great post. Checking in ‘steada’ checkin’ out. gee. I’m not the scroller, but just picking the thing up for a ‘mission’ I’ve got my mind intended upon gets totally distracted by – a text, by some FB ‘thing’ … too much. Then, after engaging with a text, or watching the ‘thing’ on FB, that then gets morphed into something else — I wonder, as I put the phone down — now, what was that? wondering about my ‘first’ intention of picking it up to begin with! Definitely hogs time when least suspecting (hahah). But now I’m wary – it’s like, ok…. Sue, there’s a mission here – slaying past the mines …. but then ‘peeking’ into one, promising to exit. Which can happen when determined. It is a matter of holding to life within and loving the life that’s breezing thru. I’ve been linking into that consciousness / awareness, noticing, willing – to do, more of, too. Regenerating. Connects right down to strange little tidbits of life happening some strange eons ago that suddenly remind me that – ya, the connection feels like I lived. That life was built on what was … in all it’s peculiar moments. Just like perhaps the one now is and feels alive. Present. That must be the ticket – feeling, being present. Always the code word of mindful – tho not quite used as it was back — but that’s essentially it. ….. paused, and THEN thought – hmmm, now I get it. Why mindful once seemed like a distant thing .. because it’s using the word “mind”, which indicates thought … which is thinking – which is what I do allll, or aaaaal the time. (laugh). And the truth of ‘mindful’ is not to be ‘thinking’ – but in the reality of one’s senses — that connect with the mentality of awareness of where, what is happening, going down at that very time. In all its parts – so not to be ‘thinking’ of it – but feeling, experiencing. That’s the word. Experiencing. I like your word Dougall – engaged. Yes. Engaged. The totality of being. ahhhh — thanks for the share from you to us.
Thank you for your thoughts Sue, I agree! Technology is a blessing and offers us many ways to learn and connect, but it’s vital to use it mindfully.
Love this Dougall! I do feel it is an addiction. I went on vacation and it felt good not to pick up my phone until night. I learned a lot that I can relax without scrolling.
So true Doris, thank you for sharing!
Love this! Makes so much sense! I’m going to try it too!
Please do Nancy, I’d love to know how it goes for you!
What a thoughtful article. I appreciate you sharing your process and recognizing what pulls us away from ourselves. Thank you Dougall
Thank you for sharing this, Dougall-san!
Such a beautiful reminder for all of us. I often catch myself multitasking—playing something on my phone while doing daily activities. With all my senses occupied, I lose connection with the present moment, the “now.”
Having worked for a social media app, I know firsthand how much effort goes into keeping people hooked, making it hard to disconnect. And yet, I’m still grateful for this little addictive device—because it’s what led me to you!
I’m setting the intention to create a healthier balance with it, just like any good relationship that needs boundaries. Truly appreciate your teaching and reminder!