Why do we want what we don’t have?

Hi from Oregon! We flew to Portland this week so I could do some local TV to promote my new book, as well as a book signing. I am looking out at a marina as I write, enjoying the grey skies and gentle pitter-patter of rain. I absolutely love this weather, the kind that makes me want to curl up with a cozy blanket and just relax.

And yet, several people have apologized for the weather since we arrived. At the car rental kiosk, the person helping us said they were sorry that we would be here for such bad weather. And when we arrived at our hotel, the manager who checked us in said “I’m so sorry for this rain! Too bad you won’t be able to enjoy Portland properly.”

I find this so interesting, because I have literally the opposite reaction. I live in Southern California, where the past five years have shown us one of worst droughts in its history. Because of this, when I see rain, I immediately feel grateful. A thunderstorm seems like a cleansing, nourishing gift to the planet. I love where I live and enjoy the consistent warmth and sunshine, but there is something about the change of seasons that I really miss.

I have many friends who live in cold climates and would love to trade places with me. And the funny thing is, when we moved from New York City ten years ago, I could not wait to leave rain coats and boots behind. So why do I crave a dose of it now? What is it about not having something that makes us miss it?

I often use the color blue when I ponder questions. As the color of truth and wisdom, blue helps us see any situation more clearly, so that we can learn from it. To try it for yourself, close your eyes and picture yourself bathed in blue light whenever you want a boost of inner guidance. When you feel like you can see the blue light clearly in your mind, ask for insight on your question and see what comes up.

When I meditated with blue this morning, a thought floated to the surface of my consciousness; lack helps us have gratitude for abundance.

Although no one would ever consciously want to experience a lack of abundance, we are more likely to appreciate what we have if we know what it’s like to not have it. We are more likely to have gratitude for joy if we also know what it’s like to experience sadness. Good health is that much sweeter when we overcome an illness. Yin and yang.

This weekend also marks my 40th birthday, so we decided to make this a vacation and will be driving to a small beachfront inn. After the excitement and energy involved in launching my book, I look forward to a few days of quiet and reflection.

Even though the weather calls for rain and clouds the entire time we are there, I am profoundly grateful for it. This feels like the perfect change of pace for me. After three straight weeks of promotion, interviews, writing and being in a work headset, I am ready to reverse the energy. The idea of having 48 hours of rest, recharge and celebration is just what the doctor ordered. Yin and yang.

What kind of change would give you a greater sense of gratitude? Let me know in the comments below! It could be feeling the sun warm your skin, or perhaps the chill of rain. Socializing with friends, or hibernating and focusing on self-care. It’s all about balance, so we can increase our gratitude. Often when we change our energy, it will help activate other needed changes. If we want achieve something new or expand our horizons, looking to the other side of the fence is a great source of inspiration.

Now is a perfect opportunity to indulge in something different in your life.

16 replies
  1. Lauri
    Lauri says:

    Ah, Dougall you are a brother from another mother . There is rarely any thing you say that doesn’t click with me as ‘That’s MY Truth too!’ And you eloquently express it in a way I aspire to be able to.
    I am Western Washington born and raised. Ive travelled yet there’s no place I’d rather live. (Except Hawaii, I’d love to live there if I could afford it just long enough to get ‘rock fever’ and then move back.) We’ve had an extrodinarily wet winter this year. Yet rain brings green. And green…well I was raised in the rain forest which were my stomping grounds. I must have green!
    Anywho, I gave your book. I’m enjoying it tremendously. If circumstances allowed I would have gone to Seattle to gave it signed. I listen to Hay House often. Now that you’re on you’ve been added to my list of favorites. One day I’ll get a reading from you. In the mean-time I’m enjoying color in such a different way and have an idea of a color oracle deck. I’ve started with, you guessed it, green.
    I’ve been wordy, I know. Thanks for listening/reading.
    Colorful blessings!

  2. Lauri
    Lauri says:

    I know there’s some editing I’d like to do re: my last post… I’m a stickler for grammar and spelling. I goofed, 😉

  3. Cyndi S
    Cyndi S says:

    Dougall… It was a pleasure to see you in our gray & silver clouds last night here in Portland. As my husband and I drove to your book singing we remarked that it was cool that they were dramatic for just for you!

    There is nothing finer than the coast with a nice dramatic storm and a cozy curl up with someone you love in celebration.

    Happy 40th although until I read that just now I would have sworn you were 35! Love your energy!

    Cyndi with the sparkly covered book!

  4. Marina
    Marina says:

    Happy 40th Dougall!
    What an amazing young man you are!
    Bought your book and enjoy it immensely, every color I read about resonates w me in one way or another, as my reading with you coming closer I hope to be finished with first round of reading the book and then plan on rereading it in depth..I’m very happy to say that rain is the weather I enjoy very much for the same reason you describe so eloquently, and good book like yours is so appropriate in a rainy weather because after rain, everything is so green and fresh and alive, ah.. love it and love love Spring!
    I wish you’d come to chicago so I could have the book signed by you!
    Have a well deserved vacation and talk to you in a few weeks🌺☀️️

  5. Lorraine
    Lorraine says:

    Hi Dougall!
    I really enjoyed your interview with Marie Manuchehri & am looking forward to reading your new book. I have to say that while I am in love with the green of the Pacific Northwest, a little more sunshine in the Portland area would be appreciated. Happy Birthday!

  6. Lori
    Lori says:

    A special man who’s always in my thoughts and heart to snuggle with during these rainy nights. Haven’t had this in a long time,been lonely.

  7. Chantale
    Chantale says:

    Hi Dougall

    I usually enjoyed the rain but for some reason today instead of daydreaming about dancing, more like stomping in it, I am feeling very annoying by it.

    Enjoy your 40th anniversaire!

  8. Debbie konner
    Debbie konner says:

    Everyone on this post is amazing.
    Dougall, you invite warmth and love. You have a wonderful command of expressing yourself.
    I first heard you on The a Year Of Miracles master class. I am now a follower! Happy 40th!

  9. Pamel
    Pamel says:

    Dougall, I love your insight and it resonated so beautifully with me! I appreciate your gift of expression. I live in the lake country of northern Minnesota where the balance of the seasons do provide a yin and yang for people that appears to surface in various ways in moods, creativity, thoughts, ideas depending on the energy of the season. In the long cold winters we need to take a break from the numbing cold to reenergize. Yet without the variants gratitude for them would not be apparent. So thank you again for your clarity and insight and for your gift of colors. I love your book! And have a peaceful, happy birthday! 🎈

  10. Aimie
    Aimie says:

    Happy birthday !!!! May you and David enjoy the cosiest and most beautiful days of rest! The book you two have given us enables real gifts from God–I am grateful. Have recently started working with it after hearing you on Marie’s show. What I want is to stop approaching life with a “fix it” attitude: the chapter on sliver gave me great insight. I asked “why don’t i like silver?” ; it was because “it gets tarnished–it always needs so much work to keep up”, which led me to realize I’m surrounded in my home with broken things (and “broken” relationships) that I chose so I could “fix” them, and it’s exhausting! I’m looking to just “moon gaze”, for a change–absorb and appreciate the beautiful quiet silver moonlight –enjoy the “wholeness” instead. Thank you again for your amazing work.

  11. Liana
    Liana says:

    Happy Birthday..wow so many greats born this month. Enjoying the blog. I like to paint furniture, it helps relax me and bring out my creative side. Seem to love Annie Sloan Paris Grey color lately.

  12. Ginny Lott
    Ginny Lott says:

    Hi Dougall! Happy 40th Birthday. Hope its all you desire it to be.
    Right now, here in northern New York, we are experiencing flooding form so much rain. I am anxious to feel the warmth of the sun on my face as it energizes my spirit. But for now, I still love curling up with your book and a blanket to snuggle in a bit longer. Hope you have a wonderful trip.


  13. Andre Valerio
    Andre Valerio says:

    I’m born and raised in South Louisiana (Cajun girl here) but I lived in Los Angeles for ten years. I know what you mean about the rain. I loved a rainy day there. But now I’m back in South Louisiana and UGGGGHHHH MORE RAIN!?!?!?! Happy 40th!!!


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